Follow these timeless tips for being a good conversationalist from The Art of Conversation.
如何成為一名優(yōu)秀的交談者,下文介紹幾條永遠不會過時的法則:
1. Avoid unnecessary details. 避免不必要的細節(jié)
Don’t sidetrack. For example, if the time something happened isn’t important, don’t waste time getting it right.
不要鉆牛角尖。例如,某個時間發(fā)生的事情并不重要,就不要浪費時間把它弄清楚。
2. Don’t ask another question before the first one has been answered. 在第一個問題沒有弄明白之前,不要問另外一個問題
If you ask how someone’s children are, don’t jump in with your family health before she has answered.
你問別人孩子怎么樣,在她回答之前,不要跳躍話題,又問人家家人的健康。
3. Do not interrupt another while he is speaking. 別人說話時,不要打斷
Also, try to make your story short, giving the other person a chance to speak and not interrupt.
盡量縮短自己說話的時間,給別人說話的機會,并且,不打斷。
4. Do not contradict, especially if it’s not important. 不要反駁,尤其是話題不重要的時候
You are inserting unnecessary details into the person’s story. “The person who contradicts, frequently restates the matter in another way.”
別人說話時,你插入某些不必要的細節(jié)。“這種反駁別人的人,經(jīng)常用另一種方式重述同一件事。”
5. Do not do all the talking. 不要一直一個人講話
Ask questions to find out what you both have in common.
尋找話題,找出你倆身上的共同點。
6. Do not always be the hero of your story, however, the story should have a hero. 不要一直做你故事中的英雄,盡管,這個故事應該有一個英雄
Build up others as well as yourself.
贊賞自己的時候,不要忘記贊賞別人
7. Choose a subject of mutual interest. 選擇一個雙方都感興趣的話題
Draw the person’s interests out and don’t “hinge the conversation on politics when it should be on potatoes or on poetry.”
了解對方的興趣,“應該討論土豆或者詩歌的時候,不要把話題圍繞在政治上?!?/p>
8. Be a good listener. 做一個良好的傾聽者
You will naturally become one if you follow the above rules.
如果你遵循這個規(guī)則,自然就會成為一個良好的交談者。
9. The conversation should be in harmony with the surroundings. 談話的內(nèi)容應該與周圍的環(huán)境相協(xié)調(diào)
Do not “talk about cheese when the moon would be a more fitting topic.” Also, don’t discount the appropriateness of silence.
“當月亮可以作為一個更好的話題的時候,不要討論奶酪”。同時,不要對沉默的適當性打折扣。
10. Do not exaggerate. 不要夸大其詞
Not everything is“the best,” “the worst,” or “the funniest.”
世界上沒有事情是“最好的”、“最壞的”,或者“最有意思的”。
11. Do not misquote. 不要錯誤的引用
“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
“為了特殊的場合使用引用,而不是因為引用而制造一個特殊的場合?!?/p>
12. Cultivatet act. 培養(yǎng)你的圓滑
Do not be untruthful, but also don’t feel the need to be hurtful. Do not say someone looks unwell, sick, or tired. This will do nothing to further conversation and only make the person uncomfortable. Don’t hint a tit either by asking if she had a long night. Remember silence is anoption. “Say the right thing, or say nothing.”
不要說謊話,但是也沒必要覺得謊話不好。不要說別人看起來身體不好,生病,或者疲倦。這對你們倆進一步交談沒有任何好處,只會讓對方覺得不舒服。也不要用“你是否想要一個漫長的夜晚”來暗示別人。記住,沉默也是一種選擇?!罢f正確的話,或者什么都不說”。